Keeping up with the Jones's (A Stupid Conversation)

Hubby went dove hunting Saturday. Apparently not many birds were flying this first few hours after the official (legal) opening of the season because they only came home with a couple of birds split between five guys. Apparently the conversation kept them entertained for hours and hours.

Yesterday, as hubby was patting out burgers and I was in and out of the kitchen cleaning, painting, and such, Rick started talking about the conversation they had in the grass field. He said, "We went out to pick up Bubba (In the south, particularly in Lawrence County Alabama we sometimes call grown men by this nickname. Generally you'd try to stay away from guys called Bubba but this one is really a nice guy.). Bubba and his wife have a really nice house. His wife even has her own tanning bed, Carol."

I responded, "Tanning beds are no big deal. We could trade that Bowflex you haven't used one time since you got it six years ago for a tanning bed easily. Besides, it's not about the tanning bed, it's about the cute dude that works at the tanning salon.

Hubby, "Men work there?" I nodded.

"YOUR wife has an eight seater hot tub she usually has to sit in ALONE."

"I get in it with you."

"Rarely."

As I was leaving the room again, Rick yelled, "And Bubba's wife texts him to come home because she needs his big ____."

I poked my head back around the corner and said, "If my husband would get text service on my cell phone and my husband HAD a big ____, I might text him the same."

"You don't think I have a big ____?"

'Yeah, baby, I think you have a big ____. Maybe even bigger than Bubba's [though I've never seen it, really I haven't]. Maybe Bubba's wife hasn't had the opportunity to survey as many ____ as I have, honey, and doesn't know what a big one looks like. Do you wish to continue with this conversation?"

Hubby, "Well Tim's wife sends him naked pics on his cell phone."

Oh brother, "Well if my husband wasn't so cheap and would pay for the internet service on our cell phones I could send him dirty pics too. You know I have dirty pics, a LOT of them." Do you want to spend all day at work wondering who saw those pics before you did or do you want to end this conversation here?"

Hubby, "I better just finish patting out these burgers."

Today hubby is going to get a dirty pic at work on his cell. We do sort of have the service (I fixed that and he doesn't know it) but it's pay per use and can be expensive but I'm going to do this just one time.

Y'all have a nice day at work!